Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning

Love and Trouble A Midlife Reckoning From the New York Times best selling author of Poser My Life in Twenty Three Yoga Poses a ferocious sexy hilarious memoir about going off the rails at midlife and trying to reconcile the girl she w

  • Title: Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning
  • Author: Claire Dederer
  • ISBN: 9781101946503
  • Page: 399
  • Format: Hardcover
  • From the New York Times best selling author of Poser My Life in Twenty Three Yoga Poses, a ferocious, sexy, hilarious memoir about going off the rails at midlife and trying to reconcile the girl she was with the woman she has become.Claire Dederer is a happily married mother of two, ages nine and twelve, when she suddenly finds herself totally despondent and, simultaneousFrom the New York Times best selling author of Poser My Life in Twenty Three Yoga Poses, a ferocious, sexy, hilarious memoir about going off the rails at midlife and trying to reconcile the girl she was with the woman she has become.Claire Dederer is a happily married mother of two, ages nine and twelve, when she suddenly finds herself totally despondent and, simultaneously, suffering through a kind of erotic reawakening This exuberant memoir shifts between her present experience as a middle aged mom in the grip of mysterious new hungers and herself as a teenager when she last experienced life with such heightened sensitivity and longing From her hilarious chapter titles How to Have Sex with Your Husband of Seventeen Years to her subjects from the boyfriend she dumped at fourteen the moment she learned how to give herself an orgasm, to the girls who ruled her elite private school when I left Oberlin I thought I had done with them forever, but it turned outthey also edited all the newspapers and magazines, and wrote all the books , to raising a teenage daughter herself Dederer writes with an electrifying blend of wry wit and raw honesty She exposes herself utterly, and in doing so captures something universal about the experience of being a woman, a daughter, a wife.

    • Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning : Claire Dederer
      399 Claire Dederer
    • thumbnail Title: Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning : Claire Dederer
      Posted by:Claire Dederer
      Published :2019-02-03T14:54:20+00:00

    2 thoughts on “Love and Trouble: A Midlife Reckoning

    1. Claire s first book, Poser My Life in Twenty Three Yoga Poses, will be published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux in January, 2011 It will be published simultaneously in the UK by Bloomsbury.Claire is a longtime contributor to The New York Times Her articles have appeared in Vogue, Real Simple, The Nation, New York, Yoga Journal, on Slate and Salon, and in newspapers across the country Her writing has encompassed criticism, reporting, and the personal essay.Dederer s essays have appeared in the anthologies Money Changes Everything edited by Elissa Schappell and Jenny Offill and Heavy Rotation edited by Peter Terzian.Before becoming a freelance journalist, Claire was the chief film critic at Seattle Weekly.With her husband Bruce Barcott, Claire has co taught writing at the University of Washington She currently works with private students.A proud fourth generation Seattle native, Claire lives on Bainbridge Island in Puget Sound with her family.

    2. I've just finished Claire Dederer’s “Love and Trouble” or, as I’ve alternatively titled it “People who look at me and why.” I am a little disappointed. No, I’m a little angry. A lot angry actually. The degree of hubris required to write this book and then to show (or sell!) it to people other than your family is astounding. Mind-boggling.The following review contains spoilers, I suppose, but only in so far as a memoir about nothing can actually be said to contain any. Ok, so imagin [...]

    3. Blech. I kept wanting to stop reading, but already owed the library fine so kept reading to the end - you know, to get my money's worth? I guess this holds your interest inasmuch as reading someone's diary for an hour might be interesting, but it meanders, is imprecise, is exasperating, is immature. The excerpts of her childhood diary only serve to highlight that she hasn't changed much. Oh, the privileged navel-gazing! Why did I pick this up? I have to be extra careful in choosing memoirs, now [...]

    4. Her raw, clever writing does only a mediocre job of hiding the messy construction of the book. There are stunning moments that beg to be reread, but those are (unfortunately) lost in the sorting through of everything else.

    5. A woman going through a ridiculous mid life crisis is fixated on her thirteen year old self. Quoting from the book, "You received a savage e-mail from a mentor and former editor of yours, who told you the book was so unreadable she had to stop midway through." kept ringing in my mind as I read this book but persevered to the end.I received this book for free through First Reads.

    6. Best book I've read in a while. Couldn't put this baby down. Female sexuality, like all sexuality, is complicated-- thank god we are finally talking about it with this kind of lucidity and candor.

    7. Mixed feelings. On the one hand, Claire Dederer is a very good writer; on the other hand, I found this book to be too long and self indulgent. There was a lot of repetition. Basically, she's a very sexual person, she slept around a lot when she was younger and really enjoyed it and now she's a married, middle aged Mom and feels sad that she no longer gets the amount of male attention that she used to. Being sexually desired and desirable is a big part of her identity, however, as a feminist, she [...]

    8. I didn't find this all that different in tone from Dederer's 2010 memoir Poser, a work that she now disparages as a "lady book". Much of this new memoir I found grating and hard to listen to. I was going to give it two stars but then the final chapter or two redeemed it. She's good with putting sentences together, at finding great phrases to describe things, but in both books I got the feeling she wasn't being entirely truthful, and was convincing herself of things because she found a phrasing o [...]

    9. I specialize in child abuse and neglect, and based on that, I would say the author is still suffering quite actively from it effects as an adult. As a child, she seems largely ignored and certainly unprotected. I found it sad that she spun this maltreatment into some kind of wacky, sexualized personality instead of the ill effects of what it was: blatant neglect. Yes, it was the 70s and 80s, but parents still protected their children. As I was reading the book, more than once I had the impulse t [...]

    10. I loved this memoir. So fun, sexy, wise, open, and fierce. I think I related to so much of it because Dederer and I were both raised in Washington state and are only two months apart in age. If I were a woman, this may have been MY memoir. I wrote a longer review with personal thoughts on this book and it will appear in the next issue of Post Road journal.

    11. I really needed this book. It was the exact thing I needed right now. And it's one I'd really like to visit again because it was a salve for my soul.

    12. I checked the audio version of this out from the library. I'm a complete sucker for a good memoir and seen this one floating around but also noticed how mehhh the reviews were. Still, eventually I gave in and gave it a go.We all knew that girl. Growing up we all knew that girl in school who you saw her name written on a park bench or in the bathroom with her number written under it stating "call for a good time." Sometimes you didn't find out until years later about this girl, but she was there. [...]

    13. While Dederer's experiences are unique to her, there is a universality to her expression of those experiences that will ring true to a lot of women:* Do you want to be safe or be free? Can you be both?* The transition from being a girl, being blissfully unaware of your body beyond its utility, to the moment you realize that your body is something to be looked upon and it affects the way you move in it, feel about it.* Simultaneously wanting the male gaze, courting it even, and hating it at the s [...]

    14. Like the author, I am a Gen X mother who works from home in a fairly rural location while my spouse travels for work. I was intrigued by the author's perspective. While I found some great insight in the author's perspective of what it means to be an aging mother in the US, I also felt like the book lacked introspection. It was more a series of observations, stories, and musings rather than a cohesive work that led to any sort of concrete realization or epiphany. Although, perhaps that is, in its [...]

    15. Free copy for honest review."A ferocious, sexy, hilarious memoir about going off the rails at midlife and trying to reconcile the girl she was with the woman she has become." - Nothing could be farther from the truth. I found this book to be boring and I didn't find it the least bit funny. As far as I was concerned it was all about a middle aged women bitching and moaning about her life. I won't be recommending it to friends.

    16. It’s been so long since I discovered a writer I did on a personal level -- a woman I didn’t know about who is living, sharing planet space, making sentences, raising kids and perfecting yoga poses. Claire Dederer, essayist, is enough like me to make me want to read EVERYTHING and enough not like me to leave room for me to nod along with or frown and think, “Hmm.” I adore her. It started with “Love and Trouble,” a collection of self-reflection she approaches with the curiosity of a de [...]

    17. I bought this book because it was recommended by Elizabeth Gilbert on FB. The synopsis captured my interest immediately because I'm the same age, am going through menopause, am a long-time wife and an aspiring memoirist. I should have known that if Elizabeth Gilbert was recommending it, I would also need a dictionary to read along. I get that this author is an essayist, book critic, Oberlin educated reporter and has been reading since she was born, but my god, bring it down a few notches for tho [...]

    18. I love the premise of this book, and the writing really draws you in. But I couldn't understand why she avoided her queerness throughout. Maybe it's a generational difference - she is truly Gen X, while I am a Millennial cusper, obsessed with identity like the rest. I loved how brave and honest this book was. It was also unconsciously white, which was annoying. Maybe it's hard to read a memoir of this kind as a therapist- there was so much underneath her words that wanted pulling out. But ultima [...]

    19. I was very disappointed. I love Claire Dederer's writing, and this book has its moments. But I felt sad that she defines her life in relationship to men and not by her talent and accomplishments. In fact, it seems that she has subordinated her career to trying preserve a view of herself as a sexy, young woman. There is such power in middle age and she's missing it - and depriving us of what she would have had to offer if she could only stop looking in the mirror. You know, everybody is kinda slu [...]

    20. A lifeI wonder how many parallels people can draw to Claire's eclectic,non-linear, chronically maligned memoir. I think hers is a story for most of us, men and women alike, born in the mid sixties to the mid seventies, that might help explain, or share (hello AA,my name is Bob and I'm an alcoholic) at the very least, her visceral experiences. It is a story to laugh at, to nod at and to smh. Her language and writing is wonderful, and her parentheticals are a delight as they are often what I was t [...]

    21. Profoundly true. Allowed me not only to feel less alone in my experiences, but also to forgive myself my own chaotic history. She leaves no stone uncovered, and the exposure is thrilling and comforting both. Read her!

    22. Currently in the mood for searing self-reflection. This, like Lightsey Darst's "The Thousands" (/book/show/3) made me feel a sense of danger while reading it. What will happen when an author examines every last dark corner of female desire, both in life and in writing? If one strays off the well-lit path, is one automatically Little Red Riding Hood or Madame Bovary? Or, like the most ancient strayer and pomegranate-seed-eater, can you be crowned Queen of the Dead AND be the reason spring comes e [...]

    23. This book started out slow for me and I found it a bit confusing with the ages and the jumping around but I love that the author talked so freely about sex, specifically her sex life. As a woman, we tend not to be so open about our sex lives. I just hope that things are better with her and her husband now. 😂😂

    24. I think a lot of things. I had annoyances and I am left with structural grievances. But fuck it. It's a worth while book for many reasons, and none more important than examining the blind search for their own sexuality that women go through in a world dominated by and focused on male pleasure.So read it if you're interested in female sexuality, but whatever you do please do not take this as some universal experience. I did not find myself in the pages of this book, but I found recognizable piece [...]

    25. Claire Dederer's earlier book "Poser: My Life in Twenty Three Yoga Poses" was one of my favorite reads in the past few years, it poked gentle fun at the lifestyles of young families in North Seattle, including hers, while also giving candid descriptions of the real challenges of two writers raising two young children. Her frankness made her affection for her husband and children all the more sincere."Love and Trouble" is another memoir written after the family has moved to an island a ferry ride [...]

    26. In her frank, and frankly hilarious new memoir, Claire Dederer explores the female midlife crisis in all its glorious tear-and-flirt streaked inconvenience. Lost somewhere between her teenage sexual awakening, college, early married life and what should have been a calming-down, a leveling out, Claire Dederer finds herself in an awkward place, frisky at 44. “Except as Morrisey says, that joke wasn’t funny anymore.” Memoirs are often a relatable trip down memory lane, but this book offers a [...]

    27. Seeing as how I'm turning 40 tomorrow, this book seemed appropriate to read. Claire takes us through both her midlife crisis and her sexed up youth. There were many moments when I was feeling like it was a whole lot of navel gazing, but because our navels are somewhat similar, middle aged woman, with a partner and two kids whose has put their youth aside, I mostly enjoyed it.The thing about the book was there were lots of spot on moments of truth and keen observation. I thought she was brave to [...]

    28. This is an unbearably depressing memoir and a frustrating book. As a girl, young woman, adult, and mom, the writer defines herself in relation to men. She realizes she's doing this, and she calls herself a feminist, but there is so little reflection that connects her self absorption with how she defines herself by and in relation to men that it (the focus on self, the repetition, even the sex) ends up grating. One wishes that she could break free. One wishes she could love sex without such a cle [...]

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